hello, i've moved.
asordidescape.livejournal.com

(8:27 PM)

i am the biggest loser on this planet. its marking day today and everyone is out having a good time while im stuck at home cleaning/decorating the house and making stupid kuih ))))))): i wanna go out i'm depressed )))): i think i should really learn how to read msgs properly. i end up misunderstanding the msg and being sad for nothing haha, i'm so embarrassed. i'm such a loser sigh.

(3:20 AM)

6 more days ):

Maybe, to a certain extent, i am like Amanda in The Glass Menagerie. i escape the harsh reality by living in the past, just hoping and hoping, knowing that it'll never be the way it used to be. you can't always get back what you used to have. it's true, when they say, that not having any problems at all doesn't always mean you're happy. i'm sorry, i'm being sentimental. i'd rather not post how i feel here cause i think its totally unappropriate. but i have nowhere else to express how i feel. i'm a bad person. i wish i was a better person. i wish i was more understanding, tolerant etc etc. this is killing me. i guess human beings never seem to appreciate what they alr have. instead they complain and complain for what they dont have.

anyway, i need to lose weight during the fast month or i'll never be able to fit into my baju kurung during the hari raya. i wish i could run and take a permanent vacation. i miss the beach. i miss the times when we used to do things as a family. i need a break. its draining me out. maybe its the exam stress. i shouldn't be blogging.


ps: this post was never written.

(10:59 AM)

DO YOU KNOW WHAT IT FEELS LIKE TO BE THE LAST ONE TO KNOW THE LOCK ON THE DOOR HAS CHANGED?

it's as if i'm invisible, just passing by,
not knowing what i'm doing with my own life.

(9:12 PM)

i hate disappointments, it makes you fall down, down, down. & you're expected to get yourself back up after each and every disappointment. i don't know whats going on, i'm clueless to every single thing happening around me, and right now i can't be bothered to care. anyway on a brighter note, happy national day! i did a countdown to national day tell me i'm a patriotic citizen haha.

(8:48 PM)

dude, i can feel my thighs wobbling when i walk, i am terribly upset DDDDDD: now i'm fat and ugly no one will love me D: haha i realised i'm always blogging about how i'm fat and ugly, i think i should stop. but i really am D: anyway, oh my playing hockey at my void deck with my mother is so darn hilarious. haha i love my mummy alot alot alot!((: discouraged, but not defeated. i'm not giving up, because i can do it(: thanks for the encouragement, i needed it((:

(7:28 PM)

Dear God, please help me. I'm losing myself.

(10:10 AM)